When you think about it, I have a lot in common with Harry Potter.
My father was as cruel as Voldemart and raised me like Vernon raised Harry. He treated me like I was the scum on his shoe.
Instead of a scar on my forehead, I have my homosexuality, which I still wrestle with emotionally and still sometimes feel is a demon haunting me. I know I was born this way, but it still doesn't mean I am always okay with how I was born.
I yearn for a father figure. Unlike Harry, who had traces of a father from Sirius to Arthur Weasley to Dumbledore himself, I never had these traces. Is what little Harry was given better than the nothing I was given?
I'm constantly alone, having to rely on myself to make it through the Dementors. I just don't have a stag protecter I can summon with my happy thoughts.
Most of my teachers treated me like Dumebledore and McGoungall (spelling?) treat Harry. They expected a lot from me, and most of the time I delivered.
I was raised by Muggles, parents who hated Spanish and forbade me to do anything to enrich my learning of this language. Now that I live in Spain, aka Hogwarts, I am constantly reminded that I am a Mudblood, as much as I want to fit in and be Spanish.
Perhaps these were the books I needed at this time in life. I'm sure there are more similiarities, but my sleep-deprived brain can't think of them right now.
Sunday, September 15, 2013
Thursday, August 15, 2013
el meu gos...
FALLON FEY 15 MAY 2002-14 AUGUST 2013
Fallon Fey came into my life as a darling little puppy named Ginger who I petset for my pregnant aunt one weekend in July. We instantly bonded. A few months later when the baby came, my aunt couldn't deal with the puppy, and she became mine. My mom took care of her while I was at university, but she was always my dog.
She entered my life at a time I was deeply struggling with my homosexuality and hating myself for being gay (a hate I honestly still carry with me today if I look deep down). We were the best of friends. I took her to Cherokee Park in Louisville and to the Red River Gorge as often as I could. I would always pounce on her, and she was there to lick the tears of my face as I constantly cried due to whatever jerk had broken my heart or whatever jerk had said how horrible homosexuality was or whatever reason.
When I moved to Spain in September 2008, my hardest goodbye was to her. It tore me in two to say goodbye to her. She was my best friend. When I came back at Christmas after 3,5 years without seeing her, she instantly remembered me and bonded with me as if I had never left. I knew when I said goodbye to her, it could be my last goodbye.
She had some cancerous growths on her back that became infected and caused her heart to start giving out. My mom made the decision to put her down before she suffered any more pain. And my mom keeps saying at least my last memories of her will be happy memories and not of the old dog she became in the past month. (The vet in May had an optimistic outlook of another two years.)
My heart is aching for the loss of my dog, one who I had abandoned to pursue this wacky sordid adventure of living in Spain. I wonder if she knew or understand why I left. I had to get out of an unhealthy environment for me.
My heart has been aching for a dog here in Spain for quite some time. Whenever I am out for one of my many strolls and I come across a dog, I have to control myself and not to go up to it and give it a huge hug. When I left Madrid, I had to go back to the chino that lets their golden retriever lie out on the pavement in front of it to say my adéu to it. I just hugged it and held it and felt so alone.
And then just this Sunday, I had a nightmare that there was a cheetah that had made its home in our Ohio house (where Fallon never lived, but what dreams ever make sense? I only dream of the Ohio house and never any of the various places I've lived since and never ever Kentucky.) Fallon was trapped out on the patio and had to cross a hungry cheetah to get back in. After a few tries she made it and we locked the door trapping the hungry cheetah outside. I awoke in a cold sweat worried that something had happened to Fallon.
Three short days later.
Fallon...I will never, ever forget you.
Sunday, July 28, 2013
el meu Agur, Madril! Aupa Bilbo!
I'm officially sipping on my last Starbucks (although honestly I'll probably get one for the road on Tuesday, as it's a road trip staple). Yesterday I went to a park in Vallecas that had spectacular views of Madrid, and I took one last walk around Chueca.
I'm not going to be upset about not getting to go out one last time in Madrid. As I was walking around Chueca, I accepted the realization that I had a few weeks ago. Chueca is not for me. I'm neither a twink nor a bear, neither am I attracted to twinks or bears. So no wonder that place had so much pain for me. It doesn't mean I'm a bad person for not liking those scenes. I do like to go out dancing with friends, but in a big city like Madrid, it's next to impossible to make friends. And I've struggled the entire time I've been here to try to force myself to like something I don't like so I could fit in.
I saw someone who I met my first weekend in Madrid in 2009. Every time I go out, I see him with a completely different pack of friends. I ducked so I didn't have to deal with his fakeness.
I've been told like I'm a Spaniard of the north. I might seem a bit more reserved, a bit more aloof, a bit more "cerrado", but once you get under my exterior, I'm a good person and loyal. Madrid, for the most part, is superficiality and nothing under the surface. Me, I'm all under the surface.
Two years ago, when I moved back to Madrid after a year in Valencia, I had such high hopes of turning things around and applying the awesomeness of Valencia to make Madrid work. And there were some good moments. I made it to Extremadura and Asturias, being the last two autonomous communities I needed to visit. I learned catalán and now have a B1 level (I need a B2 to work there). I finished my second novel. I trained with Dan freaking Cohen at a special Body Combat in November. I recovered from a broken heart, and I am on the road to anxiety and depression recovery. I worked at the most amazing school ever, and I cliché alert learned as much from my students as they hopefully did for me.
My last week in Valencia, when I thought I was leaving for Barcelona to do a master's, my heart was breaking every day. Every time I said goodbye to one of my favourite places, I wanted to cry.
Leaving Madrid does not feel that way at all. I got my tears out of the way my last day of work, as that was really the one thing I had an attachment too. I said goodbye to catalán back in May. All the positives have already been bid adieu to. (Or bid adeu to be more catalán.)
I am excited for a new fresh start in Bilbao. I will most likely be there at least two years, one year for sure. I'm looking forward to learning a new language (Basque/Euskera), continuing with catalán and the gym, developing a group of friends and slaying Anxiety Monster for good (it has the face of Beyonce), and learning how to surf and kayak. I am looking forward to Aste Nagusia, being near the sea, and tons of hiking and breathtaking scenery. I am looking forward to my first winter winter since 1998-1999. (Kentucky and Madrid do not know winter, and every time someone from Valencia started to complain about the "cold", they'd then look at me and say "ufff, lo siento, no es frío como lo conoces, però jo sí tinc fred."
The chapter of Madrid ended on June 21st. July has been a painful postdate (root canal root canal pain pain pain camp from hell.) In less than 48 hours, the Bilbao chapter will begin with an amazing road trip.
Agur Madril, Aupa Bilbo.
I'm not going to be upset about not getting to go out one last time in Madrid. As I was walking around Chueca, I accepted the realization that I had a few weeks ago. Chueca is not for me. I'm neither a twink nor a bear, neither am I attracted to twinks or bears. So no wonder that place had so much pain for me. It doesn't mean I'm a bad person for not liking those scenes. I do like to go out dancing with friends, but in a big city like Madrid, it's next to impossible to make friends. And I've struggled the entire time I've been here to try to force myself to like something I don't like so I could fit in.
I saw someone who I met my first weekend in Madrid in 2009. Every time I go out, I see him with a completely different pack of friends. I ducked so I didn't have to deal with his fakeness.
I've been told like I'm a Spaniard of the north. I might seem a bit more reserved, a bit more aloof, a bit more "cerrado", but once you get under my exterior, I'm a good person and loyal. Madrid, for the most part, is superficiality and nothing under the surface. Me, I'm all under the surface.
Two years ago, when I moved back to Madrid after a year in Valencia, I had such high hopes of turning things around and applying the awesomeness of Valencia to make Madrid work. And there were some good moments. I made it to Extremadura and Asturias, being the last two autonomous communities I needed to visit. I learned catalán and now have a B1 level (I need a B2 to work there). I finished my second novel. I trained with Dan freaking Cohen at a special Body Combat in November. I recovered from a broken heart, and I am on the road to anxiety and depression recovery. I worked at the most amazing school ever, and I cliché alert learned as much from my students as they hopefully did for me.
My last week in Valencia, when I thought I was leaving for Barcelona to do a master's, my heart was breaking every day. Every time I said goodbye to one of my favourite places, I wanted to cry.
Leaving Madrid does not feel that way at all. I got my tears out of the way my last day of work, as that was really the one thing I had an attachment too. I said goodbye to catalán back in May. All the positives have already been bid adieu to. (Or bid adeu to be more catalán.)
I am excited for a new fresh start in Bilbao. I will most likely be there at least two years, one year for sure. I'm looking forward to learning a new language (Basque/Euskera), continuing with catalán and the gym, developing a group of friends and slaying Anxiety Monster for good (it has the face of Beyonce), and learning how to surf and kayak. I am looking forward to Aste Nagusia, being near the sea, and tons of hiking and breathtaking scenery. I am looking forward to my first winter winter since 1998-1999. (Kentucky and Madrid do not know winter, and every time someone from Valencia started to complain about the "cold", they'd then look at me and say "ufff, lo siento, no es frío como lo conoces, però jo sí tinc fred."
The chapter of Madrid ended on June 21st. July has been a painful postdate (root canal root canal pain pain pain camp from hell.) In less than 48 hours, the Bilbao chapter will begin with an amazing road trip.
Agur Madril, Aupa Bilbo.
Saturday, July 27, 2013
mi Top 10 de Madrid
The top five things of Madrid that were positive for me admist a sea of negativity.
5.
Parque de Oeste. Much nicer than the more famous Retiro, and it has Templo de Debod and views of the mountain sunsets.
4.
La sierra de Madrid. Amazingly beautiful and peaceful.
3.
Catalán Who would think one of the best things about Madrid would be learning catalán?
2.
Fisico, the best gym in Madrid. I pretty much lived there trying to get a tabla de chocolate. Too bad I like napolitanas de chocolate so much which keeps me from getting that tabla de chocolate...
1. My school...wanting to keep this blog away from my school, but it has been an incredibly experience working there, and it will be the thing I miss most in Bilbao, I'm sure...despite all the stress!
5.
Parque de Oeste. Much nicer than the more famous Retiro, and it has Templo de Debod and views of the mountain sunsets.
4.
La sierra de Madrid. Amazingly beautiful and peaceful.
3.
Catalán Who would think one of the best things about Madrid would be learning catalán?
2.
Fisico, the best gym in Madrid. I pretty much lived there trying to get a tabla de chocolate. Too bad I like napolitanas de chocolate so much which keeps me from getting that tabla de chocolate...
1. My school...wanting to keep this blog away from my school, but it has been an incredibly experience working there, and it will be the thing I miss most in Bilbao, I'm sure...despite all the stress!
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
mi Café Farewell Tour 2013
It's been a while since I've updated my public blog, and I figure now that my time in Madrid is coming to an end, it's time I start updating again with some lists.
Three lists I plan on making: The current Farewell Café Tour 2013, List of Places that Had a Positive Influence on my Time in Madrid, and Top 10 List of Things I Am Looking Forward to in Euskadi.
For those of you who didn't know, I was only able to have my job in Madrid for two years due to stupid Madrid law. While I'm excited to get out of Madrid, which is not a fit for me at all, I'm super excited to go to a brand new city (Bilbao) that I love. I think the city will be a fit for me, and I hope my job is as well of a fit as my schools in Valencia and Madrid were.
Some of these cafés I have never been to. Some of them I frequent a lot and wanted to go to one last time. But these are some of the coolest cafes in Madrid.
Sunday, 21 July 2013: Agur, Casa Mono.
Monday, 22 July 2013: Agur, Café Escalón. I'm not really a fan of the recent makeover, but before they had good tostada con tomate with free orange juice.
Tuesday, 23 July 2013: Agur, El Bombo: On the way to the metro for my daily commute and open, it was convenience. I had to go just to get my mayorship back on FourSquare.
To Come: Agurs to Café Mur, my Spanish Common Grounds,
Café do Nuno
I JUST FOUND OUT IT CLOSED MAY 31 :( It was my fave bar in Quevedo, when I lived there. A Portuguese bar. I wish I had known it was closing!
Café Mama Inés: A Café near Chueca mentioned in the latest John Irving novel.
Café de la Luz:
and to have café on the terrace of Parque de Oeste
and the top floor of El Corte Inglés in Callao.
Three lists I plan on making: The current Farewell Café Tour 2013, List of Places that Had a Positive Influence on my Time in Madrid, and Top 10 List of Things I Am Looking Forward to in Euskadi.
For those of you who didn't know, I was only able to have my job in Madrid for two years due to stupid Madrid law. While I'm excited to get out of Madrid, which is not a fit for me at all, I'm super excited to go to a brand new city (Bilbao) that I love. I think the city will be a fit for me, and I hope my job is as well of a fit as my schools in Valencia and Madrid were.
Some of these cafés I have never been to. Some of them I frequent a lot and wanted to go to one last time. But these are some of the coolest cafes in Madrid.
Sunday, 21 July 2013: Agur, Casa Mono.
Monday, 22 July 2013: Agur, Café Escalón. I'm not really a fan of the recent makeover, but before they had good tostada con tomate with free orange juice.
Tuesday, 23 July 2013: Agur, El Bombo: On the way to the metro for my daily commute and open, it was convenience. I had to go just to get my mayorship back on FourSquare.
To Come: Agurs to Café Mur, my Spanish Common Grounds,
Café do Nuno
I JUST FOUND OUT IT CLOSED MAY 31 :( It was my fave bar in Quevedo, when I lived there. A Portuguese bar. I wish I had known it was closing!Café Mama Inés: A Café near Chueca mentioned in the latest John Irving novel.
Café de la Luz:
and to have café on the terrace of Parque de Oeste
and the top floor of El Corte Inglés in Callao.
Monday, December 31, 2012
2012 review and 2013 goals
1. What did you do in 2012 that you'd never done before?: I practiced nudism. Not much but...I also renewed a year at my job.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?: Some, and I always have goals for the new year.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?: Barb. And a few others from high school
4. Did anyone close to you die?: No, but the deaths of celebs John Ingle and Kathyrn Joosten affected me.
5. What countries did you visit?: I live in Spain, so it doesn't count. Andorra, Italy, United States.
6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?: A boyfriend. Don't I say this every year?
7. What date from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?: Nov 21, Body Combat with Dan Cohen!
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?: Getting renewed at my job at the third best school in the entire Comunidad de Madrid, and all my travels.
9. What was your biggest failure?: Roommates, boys, friendships, social life...
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Faringitis in February.
11. What was the best thing you bought?: A trip to Greece next year :P Concert tickets to Lady Gaga
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Lady Gaga!
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?: Partido Popular, Republicans
14. Where did most of your money go?: Travel
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?: Travel, Lady Gaga concert, cute Spanish Boys, Body Combat, Catalán.
16. What song will always remind you of 2007?: "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen (a Canadian) and Jennifer by Els Catarrers.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Sadder I think
ii. thinner or fatter? Thinner
iii. richer or poorer? About the same
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?: Writing
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Procrastinating, being afraid to be who I am
20. How will you be spending Christmas?: I spent Christmas Eve on planes, then Christmas with my mom opening 3,5 years of presents and seeing Les Misèrables.
21. How will you be spending New Years? Eating grapes at 6 PM Eastern Standard Time and packing.
22. Did you fall in love in 2012?: Nope :(
23. How many one-night stands?: A few
24. What was your favorite TV program?: True Blood, 30 Rock, Veep, Community
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?: No.
26. What was the best book you read?: Quijote in Spanish :P The Count of Monte Cristo and The Stand by Stephen King. I have a few new Spanish writers I like.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?: Els Catarrers
28. What did you want and get?: Buffy the Complete Series.
29. What did you want and not get?: A boyfriend. Do you see a trend?
30. What was your favorite film of this year?: Les Misèrables and Tengo ganas de ti
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?: 31, worked and then went to the gym and then VIPS
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?: a boyfriend and a permanent job.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?: Pijo casual
34. What kept you sane?: Jordi, my iPod
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?: David Villa, Cesc Fàbregas, Mario Casas
36. What political issue stirred you the most?: LA PUTA CRISIS DE MIERDA. RECORTES.
37. Who did you miss?: I don't think I miss anyone anymore.
38. Who was the best new person you met?: Umm hmmm I didn't meet anyone that stuck around outside of work who I already knew so let's go with Elena from work from 2011.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012: You will regret not doing something more than doing something.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: Here's my number, call me maybe. Oh wait, your straight.
2012.
A year of travel. Barcelona four times, Sevilla, hiking, hiking, hiking, Cáceres and Mérida, País vasco Spanish and French, València, Alicante, Murcia, Jerez (those last two for work), a week in La Alberca with Pueblo Inglés, Zaragoza, Asturias, Italia....
Body Combat, gym and catalán dominated my other extra-curricular activities.
I wrote 58.000 odd words in my second novel (as my third became my second).
Boys...I had a few dates that went nowhere, trouble making friends and finding a place to fit in.
Work...going great. It's incredibly stressful, and I complain a lot, but at the end of the day I enjoy my job. Teaching is one of the most frustrating-yet-rewarding professions, and unless you're a teacher, you're not going to see the second part. You're just going to hear our complaints because there is a lot to vent about. But when you see the fact that students are actually learning...it's a feeling you cannot describe.
What goals did I accomplish in 2012?
I changed my diet to more healthy (it could use some improvement). I gave up soda/pop/cola/refrescos/fizzy drinks, I kept up at the gym, and I am a steady 68 kg/150 pounds (145 at the moment even with the change to American diet for a week).
I read Don Quijote in Spanish, and quite a few other books.
I read the Bible every day, or I should say SKIM heh.
I went hiking more but not as much as I would have liked.
I spent a bit more time watching films, but I am nothing like I used to be.
I went to Italia. Greece, Morrocco and Ireland lacked me.
With that said...what goals do I have for 2013?
1. Find a "trabajo estable" in Spain. I want stability in my life, and 2013-2014 could very well be my last school year in Spain if I cannot find the stability I am craving. The stability includes my own place and building a life somewhere...eventually with someone.
2. Finish novel 2 (that was 3), edit 1 and 2 and send them off to be published, and do the research and groundwork for novel three. Don't forget that Esperanza Aguirre will be a brothel owner (think Mme. Thenandier in Les Misèrables) and Paco Camps sells suits on the black market *giggle*
3. Come out to my mom. I know I should have done it this visit, but things just didn't feel right and I don't feel mentally prepared to do it. I am looking at sending a letter in March before Greece.
4. Reduce anxiety and depression, fully beat social anxiety. This may involve a lot of hard pscyhological work. I am skipping catalán once or twice a month to go to a gay group therapy that should help a lot.
5. Figure out where I want to go to grad school (U of Valencia, UA of Barcelona, U of Barcelona, etc) and a financial plan to make that happen.
6. Read a book in Catalán. Read at least one classic a month in either English or Spanish (If you have recommendations, please advise me).
7. Clean out, sort and have my iTunes back up to date. This is an ongoing process.
8. Get my B1 certificate in catalán and perhaps valenciano too, since they are not interchangable in Comunitat Valenciana. Take the DELE and have my degree homologized.
9. Try new classes at the gym. Body Balance, Fisico Total, I'm looking at you. Continue with Body Combat. Stick to the schedule Monday Combat, Tuesday off, Wednesday weights, Thursday Balance (if the monitor is good, if not free day to explore Madrid), Friday weights, Saturday hiking or a class, and Sunday weights.
10. With #3, a life free of lies and a meaningful relationship. I am still looking for someone. This means nothing more than a kiss until after the third date. This is incredibly hard.
11. As I say every year, try SNOWBOARDING.
12. Give up Starbucks. No more after 6 Jan. Madrid has many wonderful cafés where I can go to write. Why do I always settle for Starbucks?
13. Write an hour a day, and limit myself to Facebook, Twitter and SZ to an hour a day.
14. Make it to the 12 provinces that lack me (me falta :P) and either Morroco or Ireland.
15. Develop a social circle and speak as much Spanish as possible.
16. Camino de Santiago. At least start it.
17. Get back into music and films like I used to be.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?: Some, and I always have goals for the new year.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?: Barb. And a few others from high school
4. Did anyone close to you die?: No, but the deaths of celebs John Ingle and Kathyrn Joosten affected me.
5. What countries did you visit?: I live in Spain, so it doesn't count. Andorra, Italy, United States.
6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?: A boyfriend. Don't I say this every year?
7. What date from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?: Nov 21, Body Combat with Dan Cohen!
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?: Getting renewed at my job at the third best school in the entire Comunidad de Madrid, and all my travels.
9. What was your biggest failure?: Roommates, boys, friendships, social life...
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Faringitis in February.
11. What was the best thing you bought?: A trip to Greece next year :P Concert tickets to Lady Gaga
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Lady Gaga!
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?: Partido Popular, Republicans
14. Where did most of your money go?: Travel
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?: Travel, Lady Gaga concert, cute Spanish Boys, Body Combat, Catalán.
16. What song will always remind you of 2007?: "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen (a Canadian) and Jennifer by Els Catarrers.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Sadder I think
ii. thinner or fatter? Thinner
iii. richer or poorer? About the same
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?: Writing
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Procrastinating, being afraid to be who I am
20. How will you be spending Christmas?: I spent Christmas Eve on planes, then Christmas with my mom opening 3,5 years of presents and seeing Les Misèrables.
21. How will you be spending New Years? Eating grapes at 6 PM Eastern Standard Time and packing.
22. Did you fall in love in 2012?: Nope :(
23. How many one-night stands?: A few
24. What was your favorite TV program?: True Blood, 30 Rock, Veep, Community
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?: No.
26. What was the best book you read?: Quijote in Spanish :P The Count of Monte Cristo and The Stand by Stephen King. I have a few new Spanish writers I like.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?: Els Catarrers
28. What did you want and get?: Buffy the Complete Series.
29. What did you want and not get?: A boyfriend. Do you see a trend?
30. What was your favorite film of this year?: Les Misèrables and Tengo ganas de ti
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?: 31, worked and then went to the gym and then VIPS
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?: a boyfriend and a permanent job.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?: Pijo casual
34. What kept you sane?: Jordi, my iPod
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?: David Villa, Cesc Fàbregas, Mario Casas
36. What political issue stirred you the most?: LA PUTA CRISIS DE MIERDA. RECORTES.
37. Who did you miss?: I don't think I miss anyone anymore.
38. Who was the best new person you met?: Umm hmmm I didn't meet anyone that stuck around outside of work who I already knew so let's go with Elena from work from 2011.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012: You will regret not doing something more than doing something.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: Here's my number, call me maybe. Oh wait, your straight.
2012.
A year of travel. Barcelona four times, Sevilla, hiking, hiking, hiking, Cáceres and Mérida, País vasco Spanish and French, València, Alicante, Murcia, Jerez (those last two for work), a week in La Alberca with Pueblo Inglés, Zaragoza, Asturias, Italia....
Body Combat, gym and catalán dominated my other extra-curricular activities.
I wrote 58.000 odd words in my second novel (as my third became my second).
Boys...I had a few dates that went nowhere, trouble making friends and finding a place to fit in.
Work...going great. It's incredibly stressful, and I complain a lot, but at the end of the day I enjoy my job. Teaching is one of the most frustrating-yet-rewarding professions, and unless you're a teacher, you're not going to see the second part. You're just going to hear our complaints because there is a lot to vent about. But when you see the fact that students are actually learning...it's a feeling you cannot describe.
What goals did I accomplish in 2012?
I changed my diet to more healthy (it could use some improvement). I gave up soda/pop/cola/refrescos/fizzy drinks, I kept up at the gym, and I am a steady 68 kg/150 pounds (145 at the moment even with the change to American diet for a week).
I read Don Quijote in Spanish, and quite a few other books.
I read the Bible every day, or I should say SKIM heh.
I went hiking more but not as much as I would have liked.
I spent a bit more time watching films, but I am nothing like I used to be.
I went to Italia. Greece, Morrocco and Ireland lacked me.
With that said...what goals do I have for 2013?
1. Find a "trabajo estable" in Spain. I want stability in my life, and 2013-2014 could very well be my last school year in Spain if I cannot find the stability I am craving. The stability includes my own place and building a life somewhere...eventually with someone.
2. Finish novel 2 (that was 3), edit 1 and 2 and send them off to be published, and do the research and groundwork for novel three. Don't forget that Esperanza Aguirre will be a brothel owner (think Mme. Thenandier in Les Misèrables) and Paco Camps sells suits on the black market *giggle*
3. Come out to my mom. I know I should have done it this visit, but things just didn't feel right and I don't feel mentally prepared to do it. I am looking at sending a letter in March before Greece.
4. Reduce anxiety and depression, fully beat social anxiety. This may involve a lot of hard pscyhological work. I am skipping catalán once or twice a month to go to a gay group therapy that should help a lot.
5. Figure out where I want to go to grad school (U of Valencia, UA of Barcelona, U of Barcelona, etc) and a financial plan to make that happen.
6. Read a book in Catalán. Read at least one classic a month in either English or Spanish (If you have recommendations, please advise me).
7. Clean out, sort and have my iTunes back up to date. This is an ongoing process.
8. Get my B1 certificate in catalán and perhaps valenciano too, since they are not interchangable in Comunitat Valenciana. Take the DELE and have my degree homologized.
9. Try new classes at the gym. Body Balance, Fisico Total, I'm looking at you. Continue with Body Combat. Stick to the schedule Monday Combat, Tuesday off, Wednesday weights, Thursday Balance (if the monitor is good, if not free day to explore Madrid), Friday weights, Saturday hiking or a class, and Sunday weights.
10. With #3, a life free of lies and a meaningful relationship. I am still looking for someone. This means nothing more than a kiss until after the third date. This is incredibly hard.
11. As I say every year, try SNOWBOARDING.
12. Give up Starbucks. No more after 6 Jan. Madrid has many wonderful cafés where I can go to write. Why do I always settle for Starbucks?
13. Write an hour a day, and limit myself to Facebook, Twitter and SZ to an hour a day.
14. Make it to the 12 provinces that lack me (me falta :P) and either Morroco or Ireland.
15. Develop a social circle and speak as much Spanish as possible.
16. Camino de Santiago. At least start it.
17. Get back into music and films like I used to be.
Friday, August 31, 2012
mi pueblo inglés
I have to say, this week was one of the best weeks of my entire life.
The past three summers, I have worked as a monitor for the Pueblo Inglés summer camps. I had heard about the adult programs, but I had never put much thought into them. I am so glad I decided to go ahead and finally volunteer to do an adult program.
It was a week full of constant activity and a whirlwind of positive energy and emotion and too much food. About a kilometre from La Alberca in Salamanca exists an amazing resort that has a village for an English-immersion program. From the arrival and lunch on Friday afternoon until the departure lunch today, it was non-stop English for the poor Spanish and me. (Prefiero castellano como todos ya sabéis.)
After the icebreakers on Friday, we had a brief overview of the basic schedule and what we would be doing. Speaking English all day and all night.
A typical day started at 8.15 with the wake up call. Breakfast was at 9, and at 9.50 began the one to ones, where a Spaniard and Anglo were paired up to discuss whatever. Being me, I had to ask tons of questions about Spanish history and government. The Spanish had to do presentations in English, which we could be assigned to be part of the audience of. At 13.00, there was a 2 to 2, which is what it sounds like. 2 Anglos, 2 Spaniards. Lunch was at 14.00, and after lunch there was a siesta until 5. 5 was a group activity which were all discussion based, and then two more one to ones before meeting room at 8. During meeting room, there were performances and theatre acts. I was asked to volunteer to be a part of one of the theatre, an X-Factor parody in which I ended up being a famous porn-star judge. I had so much fun doing it (and I included him quitting at the end to go work with Mariah and Nicki Minaj a troix).
Monday night was a party that went on all night with too much alcohol (the favourite drink was black vodka). So much music and dancing, and then on Tuesday we had a tour of the pueblo La Alberca.
La Alberca is a historical village of about 1200 people and a pig. The pig is taken care of by the town. If he decides to stop at your door at sunset, you have to take him in and feed him and give him a place for the night. During the day, he is allowed to roam the village as he sees fit. At the end of the year, they raffle off the pig which is usually then turned into jamón serrano.
La Alberca also has the place where the world's first cheques were made for soldiers on their way to fight the crusades.
Wednesday I taught a Body Combat presentation to some of the Spanish girls, which was fun. I was basically out and the only gay boy, but no one had a problem with it or me. One of the older British women commented on how she loved how I lived my life how I wanted and asked me if I were gay. We're being accepted, people.
Thursday was the last day, last chance for everything. Lots of tears were shed. There was a fancy dinner at the castle hotel and another party. What happens at Pueblo Inglés stays at Pueblo Inglés.
And today, I am sad but grateful for this amazing week I have had. I cannot wait until next August when I can volunteer again, and I hope to see some of the Spanish friends again. Trust me.
Save tonight, fight the break of dawn. Come tomorrow, tomorrow I'll be gone.
The past three summers, I have worked as a monitor for the Pueblo Inglés summer camps. I had heard about the adult programs, but I had never put much thought into them. I am so glad I decided to go ahead and finally volunteer to do an adult program.
It was a week full of constant activity and a whirlwind of positive energy and emotion and too much food. About a kilometre from La Alberca in Salamanca exists an amazing resort that has a village for an English-immersion program. From the arrival and lunch on Friday afternoon until the departure lunch today, it was non-stop English for the poor Spanish and me. (Prefiero castellano como todos ya sabéis.)
After the icebreakers on Friday, we had a brief overview of the basic schedule and what we would be doing. Speaking English all day and all night.
A typical day started at 8.15 with the wake up call. Breakfast was at 9, and at 9.50 began the one to ones, where a Spaniard and Anglo were paired up to discuss whatever. Being me, I had to ask tons of questions about Spanish history and government. The Spanish had to do presentations in English, which we could be assigned to be part of the audience of. At 13.00, there was a 2 to 2, which is what it sounds like. 2 Anglos, 2 Spaniards. Lunch was at 14.00, and after lunch there was a siesta until 5. 5 was a group activity which were all discussion based, and then two more one to ones before meeting room at 8. During meeting room, there were performances and theatre acts. I was asked to volunteer to be a part of one of the theatre, an X-Factor parody in which I ended up being a famous porn-star judge. I had so much fun doing it (and I included him quitting at the end to go work with Mariah and Nicki Minaj a troix).
Monday night was a party that went on all night with too much alcohol (the favourite drink was black vodka). So much music and dancing, and then on Tuesday we had a tour of the pueblo La Alberca.
La Alberca is a historical village of about 1200 people and a pig. The pig is taken care of by the town. If he decides to stop at your door at sunset, you have to take him in and feed him and give him a place for the night. During the day, he is allowed to roam the village as he sees fit. At the end of the year, they raffle off the pig which is usually then turned into jamón serrano.
La Alberca also has the place where the world's first cheques were made for soldiers on their way to fight the crusades.
Wednesday I taught a Body Combat presentation to some of the Spanish girls, which was fun. I was basically out and the only gay boy, but no one had a problem with it or me. One of the older British women commented on how she loved how I lived my life how I wanted and asked me if I were gay. We're being accepted, people.
Thursday was the last day, last chance for everything. Lots of tears were shed. There was a fancy dinner at the castle hotel and another party. What happens at Pueblo Inglés stays at Pueblo Inglés.
And today, I am sad but grateful for this amazing week I have had. I cannot wait until next August when I can volunteer again, and I hope to see some of the Spanish friends again. Trust me.
Save tonight, fight the break of dawn. Come tomorrow, tomorrow I'll be gone.
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